


Winter's Mass

by WhereDoYouWantMe



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 20:41:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20606996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhereDoYouWantMe/pseuds/WhereDoYouWantMe
Summary: Arthur is very, very sick. In this sickness, Merlin learns something dreadful.





	Winter's Mass

**Author's Note:**

> Mentions of abuse, so if that triggers you click off. Enjoy.

Having saved him from dragons, witches and bandits, Merlin thought it was rather unfair that a fever would be the one to kill the prince. 

The sickness had spread through the lower town, killing the weak and feeble and left Camelot's citadel quiet in an unnatural sort of way. It was only a matter of time before the sickness reached the castle and when it did, something in the earth changed. 

Merlin thought that it might be because of the magic; sickness was something created from dark sorcery. It drained the life and virility of the affected and tainted the land with something sharp and acidic that tasted heavy on Merlin's tongue. 

Arthur had taken ill less than two days before, begging off with a common cold, and Merlin didn't worry because Arthur complained about everything. A cold wasn't going to kill him. 

Except Arthur has collapsed in the middle of a council meeting the next day, had cracked his head open on the stone floor and convulsed when Gaius touched him. It was only Merlin's touch that stayed him, so in the end Merlin was forced to hold his hand whilst two knights carried the prince on a stretcher to his rooms.

And that was where he had been ever since, hardly moving from Arthur's side unless it was to gather more water or fresh linens. There hadn't been much change, every time Arthur awoke he was delirious or spouting some nonsense that even Merlin couldn't understand. His periods of lucidity were few and far between, only appearing when Merlin touched him or asked him a question.

So Merlin was surprised when he woke late at night to his prince sitting straight up in bed with a haunted sort of look. 

"Arthur? Can you hear me, Arthur?" Merlin whispered. Arthur turned his head at the sound but gave no indication of understanding it.

Merlin stood and lit the candles by the bed; Gaius had placed them high enough that the prince could not knock them over if he woke in a frenzy, and the yellow light of them was comforting in the cold.

Arthur began to mumble something but his mouth seemed to work against him so it took a few tries to get the words out. 

"Beat me for collapsing. Can't afford to get sick. Good of the kingdom." He said, still sat upright.

Merlin stopped. "Beat you? Who is going to beat you, Arthur?" 

Arthur didn't respond so Merlin collected the water bowl and cloth from Arthur's desk and sat beside the bed again. 

"You need to sit back and rest. You're very sick." Merlin pressed lightly on Arthur's shoulder, only to feel his entire body flinch. "Arthur?" 

"Would always beat me when I was sick." Arthur said and Merlin pulled his hand away quickly. "I couldn't stand after, he'd make it hurt." Arthur's glassy eyes turned to the window but he didn't appear to be seeing anything. "It was a punishment. I deserved it." 

Merlin dipped the cloth in the water and waited patiently for Arthur to continue. It took a long time, but eventually the prince did. 

"Once, he had me flogged." Arthur said it very softly and Merlin had to strain to hear it. "Brought me down to the courtyard and gave me ten lashes. I passed out, so he gave me five more." His voice was so cool, so detached as though what he said wasn't absolutely _horrifying_. __

_ __ _

_ __ _

Uther had beaten Arthur for being sick. The poor boy wouldn't have even been able to control it and Uther had punished him for the simple act of an illness. Merlin's fists began to ache and he hurriedly dispersed the dark blue haze around them. Anger would not do tonight. 

"Was it your father that beat you, Arthur?" Merlin made sure to ask it calmly. Arthur nodded and looked worryingly tired in the candlelight, all sharp lines and hollow cheeks. "You could never deserve that, Arthur. Nothing you could ever do could warrant that, let alone sickness."

Arthur shook his head. "Sickness is a weakness and weakness must be eliminated. Don't you understand?"

"No, I don't." Merlin dropped the cloth into the water. "I don't understand how a father can beat his son and justify it. I think that's sick." 

"It was alright, Merlin, because I deserved it. I know I did."

"Really?" Merlin asked and tried not to sound as angry as he was. "Because I think you were afraid of what your father was going to do to you. I think that you trusted him, that you would have done anything for him and he betrayed you by torturing you." 

Arthur's eyes looked solemn and empty when they rolled over to Merlin. "It really wasn't that bad." 

"I've worked under Gaius for many years now, I understand how lashings work. Those scars on your back, you said that you got them from being tortured. And you weren't lying, were you?" He asked but Arthur tensed and looked away from him. "How old were you?" 

Arthur found it difficult to answer. "Fifteen."

"Okay." Merlin tried to remember how wrong regicide was. "And how else did he-" He swallowed. "Punish you?"

Arthur sighed and slumped back against the bed, looking very small amongst the red covers. "I embarrassed him in court, something stupid that I can't even remember now, just that he was furious. It was the middle of winter and he pushed me into the fountain, then forced me to sleep in the stables. It was so cold." Arthur's eyebrows furrowed together as he remembered. "I had to stay with Gaius for three days. They thought I was going to die."

Merlin lifted a hand and placed it gently on Arthur's. "You would have caught hypothermia, Arthur, and frostbite. You may well have not survived if not for Gaius."

"Yes." Arthur mumbled but seemed distracted. 

"Arthur, these things that your father has done to you, they aren't normal." Merlin shifted forward and claimed both of Arthur's hands in his. "No father causes his son pain, embarrasses him in front of his people and forces him to live with those scars." Arthur sat in silence but he appeared more lucid than he had a minute before. "Arthur, your father has been torturing you ever since you were a child. He _hurt_ you." Merlin let the acid sneak into his voice and Arthur looked at him, surprised. __

_ _

_ _"I deserved..." _ _

_ _

_ _"Don't ever say that." Merlin hissed. "Don't you dare believe that. Your father has poisoned your mind and fed you lies to mold you into the man he thinks you should be." He slipped forward and stared, spotting his reflection in Arthur's teary eyes. "He abused you. He _tortured_ you, and may he burn in hell because of it."___ _

_ _ _ _

_ _ _"Merlin!" Arthur sounded shocked and breathy. "You can't say that!"_ _ _

_ _ _ _

_ _ _"I don't care." Merlin said and found that he meant it. "Let him suffer as you have suffered. Let hellfire rain down on him until he is crippled and weak so he may feel the weight of your burden." _ _ _

_ _ _ _

_ _ _Arthur's cheeks were wet. "He's the king, Merlin, you can't say that." _ _ _

_ _ _ _

_ _ _Merlin cupped Arthur's cheek and shook his head. "No, you are my king, Arthur. I will never bow to Uther, not whilst there is breath left in my body." The room was quiet so that no word Merlin spoke could be misheard. "I stand by you and you alone." _ _ _

_ _ _ _

_ _ _Arthur was speechless and after a while, he pulled up the blankets. Something unspoken passed between them and Merlin doused the candles, setting the room in darkness once more._ _ _

_ _ _ _

_ _ _Arthur was warm and pliant beneath his fingers, exhausted in the face of his secrets. Merlin stroked his head gently and braved a kiss on his crown. _ _ _

_ _ _ _

_ _ _"My king. He will never touch you again." _ _ _

_ _ _ _

_ _ _And god help Uther Pendragon if he did._ _ _


End file.
